So here we go go...

I am a mama. Sometimes a very sweet mama but also at times a not so sweet but frustrated mama. Yep. It's real.

I don't really have anything serious to complain about and I hope it's not complaining what it is that I do - but correct me if I am wrong. I have two kids (girl 9 months and boy 5 yrs), both healthy. A sweet dog, a house and a boyfriend/housemate/father of kids. We have enough to eat and we all wear clothes on our bodies. Except the dog. He came with fur!

So what the sparkles is up?
Well.... I don't feel satisfied. Some days I am over the moon, a lot of days I feel OKAY and other days I feel like sht. Hormones... yep probably. But also something else really important.

I DO NOT MAKE ME HAPPY.

Wow - that is a great public statement and I am happy (Oh I do make me Happy!!!) I just outed it!

I wish there was more love, passion, excitement, peace and challenge in my life. Fun challenges I mean. I just wish there was more fun - more dancing around the house - people coming over and love all over the place because we are having such a great fantastic time stuff.

And I wish I could actually feel fulfilled about the work that I do. And I wish that I would finally start to make enough money so that I don't have panic attacks as soon as I have to pay for something and I am not sure if my card will be accepted...

You know what I mean? Stuff like that.

And I wish I was just head over heals with Mister Boyfriend. But I am not. And I wish I was a fantabulous mom - especially at the difficult times of the day - getting ready for school and evening meals. OH MY GOD!!! How to end those struggles and make it fun again?

I wish I would feel great and that feeling greatness would shine of my face out in the universe! But instead I look and feel worn out and when I look in the mirror I can't help but think: BLAHHH!!!

Now, worst of all is that I am a mindfulness and yoga teacher. I am very much into life coaching and about loving your life. I FEEL LIKE A FRAUD!

But at my good days thats really what I live though.... but at my okay and bad days it is certainly not. And that is why I started this blog. To stop sobbing and to get into action.

ACTION!
Action?
Yes Action!

Today I thought of this very extremely wise thing: Stop thinking the thoughts that are not making you happy. It can be as easy as that. Mindblowing! I have read that a hundred times before - but when you think of it yourself you seem to receive it so much more profound...

And I also thought: Decide on what things you will do today to make today a day to remember? I came up with: dancing and starting to write about my experiences.

I do a lot of reading, courses and internetting on mindfulness and coaching etc. Lately I am very much into Kris Carr, Marie Forleo and Gabrielle Bernstein. All so good - I love spending digital time with them - but they don't have kids! And being a mam - I feel like I am juggling constantly. There is so little me time left in a day (or a month...).

So I thought of finding ways to implement all these great tips from these great women and many others so it becomes doable for all the mamas in the house too.

You like?

I like!